My mom was an adorable woman with an impish nature (she would hate that description, but, like Eve imperiously throwing open the door and demanding that Addison DeWitt leave, she was “too short for that gesture”*, so she’s just going to have to accept it, wherever she is in the afterlife). And she had a doll collection from her childhood . . . that kept everyone up at night (I suspect that was her power).
The least frightening was the Shirley Temple doll she had professionally restored which, of course, utterly devalued it as a collector’s item, but that was never her goal; her interest wasn’t selling – she enjoyed the nostalgia it brought.
The others? Oh God . . .
Her absolute favorite was a life-sized thing with very realistic brown hair, eyes with lashes that opened and closed depending on how you held it (!), physical heft – and teeth. Yes, teeth! A full set!! Picture a fat nine-month-old with adult choppers. Oh, and skin cracked like a poorly preserved Renaissance egg tempera. And it sighed. It didn’t say “mama” (although it may have done back in 1940), but the device inside its torso was still working enough to heave a ghostly noise whenever it was moved (mostly into a closet in the hall).
My dear mom - who loved her grandchildren like a benevolent fairytale heroine, created a pretty paisley pink, white, and green “nursery” which she filled with little lace-covered beds, ribbons, story books, toy furniture, games, puzzles, art supplies, and magical pictures - had no idea that her dolls (and I only mentioned two – the other ones are too horrible to describe), scared the crap out of everyone, including one of our friends, a seasoned Manhattanite who insisted we put them “somewhere, anywhere else” when he was a guest.
Lesson? I don’t know. You can look at your parents’ high school yearbook and be horrified –then look at yours and feel the same way. The stuffed puppy you couldn’t live without and dragged around everywhere would disgust pretty much anyone else who wasn’t your parent. When I think of those scary dolls, I try to remember what they were to my mother.
Cabbage Patch Dolls, Teddy Ruxpin, and Tickle Me Elmo, anyone?
*All About Eve, starring Bette Davis, Anne Baxter, George Sanders, Celeste Holm. Not to be missed.